Family Traditions

D and I have been together for over 10 years, so over that time we have had a lot of opportunity to integrate into each others families. Things always get confused over the holidays because we both have big families and like to spend as much time with them as possible. D's parents have been divorced since he was a kid, so that gives us three families that we try and work in to every holiday. Somehow, each year, we make it work, even though we usually end up eating three turkey dinners in two days. Yikes.

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Although we were able to split up all the dinners so we could fit everyone in, we still struggled with splitting up Christmas. D would spend Christmas Eve and morning with his family, and I would spend it with mine, and then we would meet up at some point during Christmas day and fit in a family lunch and dinner. Busy, busy. So, last year, we decided that since we would be getting married soon-ish, it was time to start actually spending time together during the holidays. So last year, we split it up so we spent Christmas Eve with my parents and woke up there on Christmas morning, and then headed over to his mom's in the morning, had lunch with his dad, and then dinner with my family. Still crazy busy, but doable. This year, we are doing the opposite - spending Christmas Eve with his mom and sleeping there, and then heading to his dad's for lunch and my parents' for dinner. That's the plan for this year. But next year, once we are actually married, I can't help but think things will change again. Who knows. It's difficult after growing up with all of our own traditions, to pick and choose which ones we are going to follow and what we are going to make our own. Obviously we are lucky because we have so much family to spend time with and everyone is nice and close... it just makes things busy!

Now, there is another thing to consider - Today is D's family Christmas dinner, the one with ALL his extended family , and he can't go (he's going to his roommate's bachelor party instead). So the question is - Am I obligated to go even though he can't? I definitely know everyone who is going to be there, and genuinely like them. But is it awkward that I go since they aren't technically my family (yet) and D won't be there? Or on the flip side, is it rude if I don't go considering I have been 'part of the family' for 10 years. Seriously, this is our tenth Christmas together, so it's not like I won't know what to expect. What do you think I should do? Right now I'm thinking I should go, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I just won't have D there as my buddy if no one wants to talk to me... oh, well, at least there will be wine!

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How have your holiday traditions changed since becoming your own family? Would you go to a family event without your significant other?